My buddy Jeff called me the other day. His girlfriend had just broken off their relationship. I made the appropriate sympathetic comments, and asked what her reasons were. He said, “Dude, she decided she wanted to go back to being a lesbian.”
“She what?”
He repeated what he told me, and laughed at my stunned silence. “It’s all good, dude,” he said, “because I got to talking with one of my exes the other day and we want to give it another shot. Now that I got the queer girl out of the way--”
“Wait. You knew she was a lezzie?”
“Yeah, she told me she wanted to go straight, so I thought what the heck, I can be one of the few guys to turn a lesbian back to our side.”
“Instead it sounds like you cemented her decision to eat at the Y.”
“You think you’re funny,” he told me.
Obviously Jeff wasn’t too terribly upset. Methinks he was about to break it off anyway, and the lesbo gave him the excuse he needed to get rid of her and go back to his ex.
I don’t think he is making the best choice here, but I never met this particular ex, so I am not saying it’s not a good idea because she’s a horrible person. What I mean is, going back to an ex is never a good idea.
I’ve met maybe one or two people who went back to an ex and had a happy ending—as in, they got married. But I know many more who went back to an ex, had a good time for a few weeks or maybe a month or two, but then started the old arguments again and split up—again—for the same reasons as before.
Maybe you have had a better experience with exes, of course. I’m not claiming to be the authority here. But I do know that only a dog eats its vomit.
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