A radio station in Baltimore recently reviewed a top ten list of relationship killers, and I thought I would share my thoughts on each one. See where you agree!
#10.) Disgusting bathroom habits, like leaving nail clippings on the floor, or a stained toilet bowl.
This one is aimed at the guys, I bet, which means a woman wrote this list and we all know how totally objective they are. Let me add "leaving bloody tampons in the trash" to the list, because if that doesn't kill your desire to see what's going on with her "down there" nothing will.
#9.) Bad fashion choices, and not regularly replacing your underwear with new, more attractive underwear.
Bad fashion choices should be a given, but don't we all have that one ugly piece of clothing that we really like? It's comfortable, we've had it for ages, etc. You can't blame somebody for that. As for attractive underwear... my last girlfriend had a thing for beige nylon panties. She never wore a belt, so her undies would peek out of the top of her jeans from time to time, and they were always the same ugly nylon beige. Total turn off. Have some variety! I think the only time I saw her with underwear of a different color--blue--was when she was wearing a skirt and fell back on the couch during a make-out session that began with us standing up. She landed on her back and her legs flew open and, bingo, the sky was blue. I was so stunned I almost forgot what I was going to do next. Luckily, it didn’t take long to remember.
#8.) Snoring.
Snoring isn't so much a killer as it is funny. One time, when another girlfriend and I were lying on the couch, she dozed off with her head on my chest and started making a noise that sounded like a chain-saw stuck on low. She woke up when I started laughing and wasn’t happy with me at all! Two months later she dumped me. I swear that if I hadn’t laughed we might still be together!
#7.) Drinking too much alcohol.
And this is a problem because why? If I can find a woman who can hold her scotch I will marry her, I swear.
#6.) Not bringing the romance anymore.
Or, having to teach somebody how to bring the romance. I dated a woman once who was absolutely clueless about how to be romantic or affectionate. I had to teach her. This is how you hold hands, this is how you give a back rub, etc. I tried to show her by example, but she never really picked up on it, and despite her words to the contrary it always seemed to me that she didn’t want me around. Actions speak louder than words and all that.
7.) Too much time with in-laws or extended family. Especially having one of your parents move in with you.
I can’t say I’ve had that experience but, yeah, it would be a killer. Especially, as has happened to me, the girl’s parents don’t like you.
#4.) Personal cleanliness and hygiene issues.
Doesn't this go with #10? The occasional bit of bad breath goes with the territory but if she’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and for some reason raises her arms there better not be nubs under there. The fuzzy upper lip ought to be waxed, too. Nothing kills a make-out session more than kissing really hard only to get pricked by her whiskers.
#3.) Long work hours.
Or living a long way apart. That’s hard, too.
#2.) Becoming too tight or too loose with money.
Being too loose with money is a problem? Too tight, yes, of course, but having the cash to go and do what you want would, to me, be a huge luxury. Maybe I’ll be able to try it some time.
#1.) Gaining weight, and a lack of exercise.
Well, a bony girl isn’t all that great, either. It’s best to find a lady in between. There’s gotta be a wiggle and a jiggle, you know? As for the guys… yeah, put down the fork, dude.
